I think it’s the fourth. I’m currently watching Mad Dog and working at once. Niihwa’s song hurts(??) me so much even though I don’t know the meaning of the lyric. Haha.
I think I’m starting to imagine things. I took a nap after Maghrib and suddenly I hear Mom’s voice telling me to call Dad. Why do I need to call him? His phone is with me, I thought to myself.
I’m always half asleep when I take a nap (how do I even explain this tsk) so I was like, half alerted. I opened my eyes and then sigh was only thing came out because I realized I’m in Malang, in my boarding house and of course, it’s almost 8 months since Dad passed away.
Om Zaenal, one of Dad’s bestfriends from college also passed away last month. The heartbreaking news was told by another friend of Dad’s. I mean, Om Zaenal just contacted me on July, asking me for Dad’s death certificate.
I’m so confused. My skripsi, my jobs, my future, even I get confused of my own behavior and personality. I know that your relative’s death could affect you greatly. But I think… it’s too much.
There are some things that Mom told me that I need to change: that I need to put more effort in socializing with people, that I can’t be the old me—sitting behind my computer, pretending to have a social life; that I have to more consistent in what I’m doing (actually, I don’t to be told about this), and of course, to get focused on one thing after another.